34 weeks

this is gonna be another long one folks.

i have been doing pregnancy updates with this pregnancy, and they have been fun and a good way to track things but i also feel like the questions (how much weight gain? maternity clothes or no? belly button in or out, etc) don't really explain what's happening. my nerves, and the new complications and unexpected pleasantries that come with each new week. so... im gonna stray from the usual questions, and instead, just let it all out this week.

first the basics:

-due date: may 18th

-i currently weight 133, the baby is about 5 pounds now, and the size of a cantaloupe.

-i am still in my normal clothes, and the belly button hasn't popped yet, i figured that would have happened weeks ago, but nope. 

-i am dealing with braxton hicks on a daily basis, but they aren't too intense yet, and usually they are more bearable than when she gets in one of her kicking/moving fits. those often hurt worse.

-speaking of movement... at any given time, i can tell you if my baby is awake and active, or asleep. her movements are so obvious and huge! we can even tell which body part is kicking or moving most of the time. hiccups are happening all the time, at least twice a day. she is ALWAYS awake around noon, and 9:30-11:00 at night. i'm worried she won't be a good sleeper like bayli was because i swear this girl is always awake and moving... and so much stronger than bayli was too, it's kinda comical because we called bayli our "little kickers' so i guess this one is our "big kickers"?
-sleep is becoming a problem. i usually fall asleep around 11:30, and then wake up around 3:30 because of a dream, or needing to pee, or bayli, or the dog, or the wind making some kind of noise. then i'm up till 5 because i can't go back to sleep. finally i'll fall asleep from 5-7:30 when we usually get up.
-about 2 weeks ago i woke to an extremely painful charlie horse cramp in my right calf. i was screaming, and yelling at garrison to try and fix it because i couldn't move to try and rub it or stretch it out. it bruised, and i was sore and had a limp for 2 days. well, the same thing happened last night, except on my left calf. this time i recognized what was happening and although i still woke freaking out and asking garrison for help, i could at least formulate words this time, and he knew what was happening as well, so hopefully this one won't be as hard of a recovery. stupid charlie horses.

-we had a dr's appointment yesterday where we talked about the labor and delivery side of things for the first time, and i got both more anxious, and relieved at the same time. most of the time i feel like i am huge, and uncomfortable, and ready to get this baby out already. and then the other part of me isn't ready to face reality yet... getting the baby out is really just the beginning. 

So... let's talk about "getting the baby out"

at my dr's appointment we decided that i ultimately have two things to worry about. the size of baby, and my toxemia, (or preeclampsia) coming back again. i have my list of symptoms to recognize if my toxemia comes back, and i get my blood pressure tested frequently. so... for now we just wait and see if it comes or not. as of right now i am doing good in that department, blood pressures of 140/90 after the 37th week get admitted and induced, that's too high of blood pressure. i am at 110/75ish as of lately. which is great.

as far as the size of baby, we have some interesting conflictions... because of how small my hips are, and how difficult it was for me to deliver even my tiny, 5 pound 4 oz bayli, the drs know that if i had to deliver a larger baby (6.5 pounds or bigger) it would need to be via c-section. and if i don't have to get induced at 37 weeks like i did with bayli... most likely this baby will become larger than 6.5 pounds with the extra time spent in the womb. 

but... on the flip side, i have not gained as much weight as i did with bayli. i have only gained 5 pounds, and am currently smaller in weight than i was when i was this far along with bayli. and they were worried about me gaining enough with her as well. so... the dr's are worried that the baby might not be doing well in there. she might not be getting all the nutrients she needs to grow properly, and the only fix for that is getting her out, and if that's the case they would induce me at 37 weeks. 

at my next appointment (36 weeks) we are doing an ultrasound to measure the size of baby to see one... if she is growing normally and we might need to schedule a c-section later on, and two... if she is small and if that "small" is small enough to worry about and need to get induced at 37 weeks. 

all of this is bittersweet. basically i am either growing a totally healthy baby, and have a totally healthy pregnancy, but will need to have a c-section at 39 weeks if she doesn't come on her own earlier. or, my baby is too small, or my blood pressure get's too high, and i have to get induced at 37 weeks to fix the situation, but i would probably be able to deliver her vaginally. 

of course we are hoping for the best, and the "best" option is a healthy baby, even if that means a c-section, and a few more weeks of being pregnant.

as of now, we are just waiting to have the ultrasound, and then we will have a little better idea of how this labor will play out, and how the baby is doing. so. the date's i have marked in my calendar are april 28th (the day of my 37 week appointment, which is when i would get induced if there are complications) or may 11th (the day i would have my elective induction/c-section scheduled at 39 weeks) and of course, there's still the option that we go into labor on our own like normal people. and if that's the case, there's no way of knowing when that would happen. :)

leave it to me to try and plan the "un-plannable"!