Crocheting Grandma

a few days ago i posted this picture on my instagram with the caption of "it's official. i'm a grandma. i will be planning my funeral on tuesday if anyone wants to help. #crochet"

i meant that as a very lighthearted joke and honestly was very proud of my first attempt at a blanket.

later, as i was looking at my tiny little beginning of a blanket, i started to get a much bigger appreciation for my actual grandma, who actually crochets.

you guys, but seriously. that girl can crochet!
-yes, i just referred to my grandma as a girl... she would appreciate it. i think-

when i was little, grandma seemed like a woman that was too old to relate too, too much time had passed for us to have similar interests in the same things, you know.  like the way i thought about my parents... times 2.

but, as i have grown older, i find myself laughing in the back seat with my parents just like i did my high school buddies. honestly, with my folks, i think i laughed harder. and i find myself wishing that i would have appreciated my grandma more and realized just how much we actually have in common earlier on.

let me prove it to you

things i would have said as a child that i remembered about my grandma
-clowns everywhere
-a picture of dogs playing cards in the basement directly across from the bar
-incense sticks sitting in a bronze boot by the fire
-a box of wine in the fridge
-glamour shots of her wearing a boa with a blue background
-a trunk full of afghans that she had finished making.
-long thick fingernails... i was always jealous
-her perm was only supposed to process for 30 seconds or something really specific like that.
-did i mention that she was a hairdresser and cut her own hair
-big hugs

now, that list would be very different. i've come to appreciate her so much more. i've heard stories about her as my mom remembers memories from her childhood. i've realized that she really isn't that old! i can appreciate her genuine beauty and the love she has for others.

when i think about my grandma, i no longer think about the things in her house and instead think about the things in her heart.
i think about how much time she spends alone in her small house listening to the only other noise besides the sound of her own thoughts: the organ she's playing.
i think about how much thought she puts into all of our Christmas presents.
i think about her bowling league, and golfing partners, and all of the people that love to be around her.
i think about the long conversations she has on the phone with my mother, and how they are genuinely best friends
i think about Zupas
i think about becoming a hairdresser because of her
i think about the sound of her shuffling cards
i think about how much she just wants people to have quieter conversations when around her so that she can participate with her small voice. -stupid thyroid surgery-
i think about her crazy pregnancy/labor stories!
i think about her holding my daughter for the first time
i think about how much i can teach her.
i think about how much she can teach me.

Grandma, if you're the faithful reader of my blog that i know you are. then i just want to let you know that this week, i've started crocheting, and this week, i've thought about you a lot. you are a wonderful woman, and a great example to me. you raised the woman who is my mother and for that, i will always be grateful. how about we crochet together sometime? i have a feeling you still have some things that you can teach your granddaughter. and i'm ready to learn. i love you.
Valeri