my life is really just a plate full of turkey and stuffing.

 i really really wanted my first blog post from my non-blogging-hiatus to be a super peppy and optimistic one. one filled with positive outlooks, smiley faces :) and pretty pictures where the whole family is looking at the camera and no ones shirt happens to be untucked in the back looking like a duck tail. you know, that kind of perfect blog post. well... sadly, that's not the one i'm in the mood to write tonight, and boy do i have a hankering to get all my emotions and feelings down on paper (screen?) but... as writing usually does, i'll probably be a whole lot more optimistic about things as i start to wrap my emotions up towards the end anyway, so who knows. maybe it will be optimistic after all. but... first. the pessimistic side:

i told my friend yesterday that i feel like i am currently, in my life right now, sitting down to a thanksgiving meal.
let me explain
this last spring and summer has been crazy busy. garrison and i personally have moved back in with my parents to live in their basement for the past few months. (kinda sorta felt like years... but not necessarily in a bad way) we have been scrimping and saving every last penny so that we could build up more of a down payment on a future house. on top of that, at our new church ward we have been blessed/challenged with new and more demanding callings in church. and finally after months of searching and placing offers on houses. we found one that we love and the closing date is in just a few short days! eek!  aaannnddd we have had more than one pregnancy scare. -period. stop being so weird please!-  (the dog, grandpa, bayli's climbing, weird church , skyler running for city council, etc)
some other things happening in our lives that don't really revolve around garrison and i personally but... we are very involved include: my only sister is getting married, and with that i am lucky enough to be her maid of honor. i also took their engagement pictures, created their invitations on photoshop, planned two bridal showers, altered bridesmaid dresses, styled her hair, created decorations, landscaped the backyard, etc. you get the jist.
my best friend of 10 years is also getting married less than 2 weeks after my sister, i am also my best friend's maid of honor. i have done her hair, designed her invitations, gone to wedding appointments with her, and once again, you get the jist.
i have had all of this to do while still trying to focus on my other jobs. being a mother, and wife, and hairstylist. (i usually would include "blogger" in this list but lets be honest... i haven't done much in that department for way too long)

do you see how this is like thanksgiving dinner? i have all of these wonderful things to do "on my plate" yet, i have "bitten off more than i can chew" -gotta laugh at my awesome eating puns- i'm not over here stressing and pulling my hair out because i am dealing with bad things like job loss or disease, or anything of that sort but instead because i have so many GREAT things to do. i would not want to take a single thing off that list. just like i don't want to take any of my food off my plate on thanksgiving, i know what my plate looks like. i have a clear idea of how long it will take me to eat it, and i know that all of it is going to taste delicious but i also know that it is going to give me a stomachache and that i will most likely gain 5 pounds from this one meal alone. but.... how to choose what not to eat? you cant. so you eat it all anyway and deal with the consequences.

well here i am. i've said hi to all my friends and family on thanksgiving day, said a prayer over the food and have dished my plate up. (that's what ive been doing the past few months and why i haven't been blogging... you know it's rude to blog whilst praying) all that's left to do is eat my food and deal with it. the meal starts literally tomorrow and won't end until the middle of august. but boy am i scared about the consequences.

in one week my sister gets married. we have something going on basically everyday until her wedding day. it's official. her "wedding week" has started. one day after we have traveled home from her wedding, we close on our house. we will spend a few days fixing up our rental property in the basement and get our renters in, travel to our family reunion, then work on moving ourselves in. then, my best friend starts her wedding week and eventually gets herself married as well. all of this happens in just over two weeks. and because of all the time i am having to take off work for all these big events any free time i have is spent filled with clients because they have all had to be so patient and book so far in advance in order to see me because i am only working basically one day a week because i'm so booked with other things.

but, like i explained to my friend. they are all good things! how lucky i am to be busy doing things i love. with people i love. vacationing, crafting, celebrating. i know that right now. i'm in the thick of it. i'm feeling like this is a bad idea, and the stress of it all is getting to me but i know that if i just get through it, i will have had so much fun. and i will have laughed so hard, and i will have loved so much. and i will have enjoyed 100% of my "meal" and you know those 5 pounds i talked about gaining... it will be 5 pounds straight to my heart. not because of cholesterol but because of how much i will have grown to love the people i am, and have been serving. my sister, my downstairs tenants, my best friend, my clients. my extended and immediate family, my husband and my daughter.

although putting my head on my pillow and letting myself fall asleep tonight is daunting because i know how busy of a day weeks lies ahead of me. now, i know that the consequences from eating this meal are going to be great. so you know what.

goodnight. :)