So, yesterday as my husband asked me to review his resume, I realized something profound about him. I always knew he was a hard worker and very money savvy, but I never understood just how much it is a benefit to our lives. Until now.
On his resume it says something along the lines of "maintained a 3.8 GPA at BYU while working to finish college completely debt free" WOW first of all, i'm his wife. I share the bank account with him, and that still impressed me. so that better impress his future employer tons. second of all, that is something that I wish I would have cared more about when I was dating. How they handle their finances. It's so important. sometimes, I wish I could tell my sister and those that I care about who are still dating to take a look at their prospective husbands resume's. Because let me tell you, I could've (and still could) write a pretty impressive "dating resume" about how handsome he is, and about how he brings me flowers at the perfect moments, how he sings to me, and how many times a day he says he loves me, and kisses me, etc. BUT..... one thing I have learned is, those things on a "dating resume" although very important, and are a good sign as to how gentle, and caring a husband should be. but. they. are. not. the. only. thing.
I was single once, and I remember coming home to my roommates after a date and telling them "he opened the door for me, and the conversation was so nice, and i just couldn't help but stare into those beautiful blue eyes, awwww, oh look! he's already texted me thanking me for the evening, he's so good at texting! and he complimented me on my shirt -thanks melissa for letting me borrow it- and oh my gosh. he's just perfect!" yeah, don't deny it, if you are a female, you have totally said those exact words before. and honestly, that's not a bad thing if you have. i just WISH that it would be just as impressive for me to come home and say instead "he opened the door for me, the conversation was so nice, dinner was delicious and he even pulled out a coupon when it was time to pay!" nope, never happened. first of all, most guys are totally ashamed to pull out a coupon in front of a date, and it would be viewed as something cheap instead of smart from the girls point of view at that immature stage of dating.
I love being married, i love using coupon's without wondering if he/she is going to look down on me. i love talking about our finances and figuring out what is best for us, and our future. i love how adult i sound when making a budget and being strict when i stick to it. i love putting a little extra cash in the bank when after a month or so we decide not to go out to eat and instead save for the surprises that lie ahead. i love being determined to live 100% debt free. and most of all, i love that my husband has been doing this all his life, so that although i did not live on a strict budget my first few years out of the house. because he did... he makes my transition so much easier.
as a wedding present we were given the dave ramsey Financial Peace University course material and class. interesting present, but it was the best thing ever to happen to our marriage at such an early stage. I am not going to encourage everyone to become a "dave ramsey" follower, but instead, i will encourage everyone to pick a lifestyle they want for the future, and then make a budget for right now, so that it will give you your lifestyle in the future. if you want to be living pay check to pay check and only paying your minimums on your credit cards in the future, awesome! pick a budget to make that work and stick to it. or, if you want to be a little more stable with your money in the future, awesome! pick a budget and stick to it. just make it a conscious decision.
i have had moments when it was really hard to live on a budget. for example, going with friends out for a birthday lunch and pedicures, lunch was delicious, but i realized that i couldn't afford the pedicures. so, i sat. i sat on the couch and watched while they got theirs done. now don't get me wrong, i wanted to. i wanted to still be there and support, i wanted to be able to laugh with them and talk with them and smile. and i did. but more than that, i wanted to know how hard it was to literally say no. it's easy to say no to drugs, but drugs are illegal, and will harm me, maybe even kill me. well, saying no to pedicures is hard. i have the money, in cash, in my purse, right now, but it's just not smart. and although it is not illegal, it still could harm me, it could harm my peace of mind, it could harm my marriage, it could harm my future. and that is not the only experience, there are others including trying to come up with recipe's that don't use milk or off of food storage items because we drank it all, and food storage is all that's left since we have spent all our "budgeted amount" for that month already. did you know almost every recipe call's for milk. seriously. even mac and cheese. or cereal. i checked.
the moral of the story is, don't forget the importance of being money savvy. look for it in a husband, acquire the skills yourself while your young and not already over your head in financial issues. don't be ashamed of looking for a deal or using coupons, just watch extreme couponing and you'll want to be like them, promise. wait to get the things you need. some of the best stories come from when your poor, some of the best conversations come when you're not watching tv because you can't afford cable, or a t.v. some of the best meals are made from random things you find in the kitchen, and some of the best memories are working things out when things get tough.
i remember my mom telling me that when she was newly married they didn't have money for a kitchen table yet, so, while they were saving up for one, she would set a tablecloth on the floor and set the "table" all nice, and have a meal right on the floor. for some reason, i always loved that story. and garrison was soooo shocked when i literally confessed to him that i wanted to be poor like my parents were when they were first married. and you know what. garrison and i are by no means "poor" but, we live like we are. and it genuinely is the best.
i love you honey. thank you for not only working on your dating resume all your life, but also, and more importantly, thank you for working on your resume and building the skills that we both need in order to make our home, our family, and our future the best we can possibly be.