Tuesday, December 13

baby kicks vs holy ghost

yeah, interesting comparison. i know.

but just go with me for a second on this one.

this post is more for those women who either are, or have been pregnant before.
if that's not you... then just go ahead and try to follow.

baby's movements:
-in order to feel them in the beginning you usually have to be in a quiet place, very focused, with your hand on your belly applying pressure. then you listen. i know that's a weird way to put it because little kicks don't make noise. but... you "listen" anyway. if you focus on listening then your mind kinda goes blank and you are able to focus better.
-they start out as very very very subtle things that could potentially just be your own heartbeat, gas, or, a fiction of your imagination.
-as your baby get's stronger, and as you focus on feeling it more the kicks and movements become more distinct and you realize that it really is the baby, not just your own body.
-sometimes the kicks hurt. especially later on, but... you wouldn't want them to stop altogether because it's better to know that he/she is there, knowing that they are there and healthy is way better than stopping the sometimes painful kicks. no mother would want them to stop completely.
- as you get further along in the pregnancy, you don't have to focus so much in order to feel them. they can just happen through out the day and you just get reminded, "ok, baby's still there"
-the little kicks make you love them even more. it sorta brings you two closer together, like your communicating kinda.
-even when you are feeling them all the time, (when you're close to your due date) if you want to just make sure they are ok or just want to feel them move, you can stop. apply some pressure, and "listen" just like you did when he/she was first moving and you will know it's there. -if you don't feel them move, that's a sign you need to go to the hospital-

now, go back and read that list and replace the little baby phrases like "it, she/he, the baby, they" with the holy ghost and replace the kicks/movements with "promptings of the spirit" and basically allllll of them work!

i really hope that this is not pushing things a little too far in terms of the gospel principles. but... it's just the way my brain works and it's brought me closer to the spirit after figuring this out and maybe it will help you too.

we have to learn the way the spirit talks to us. it's not like they are (always) real words, sentences, or hearing literal things with our ears. instead they are little tini thuds or kicks of knowledge that let us know that He is there. He is listening. and He loves you.

i have always had a belief that the spirit talks with each of us differently, he knows us, and he knows what "technique" works best with us, and he is not going to try and trick us. so, he might work for someone really creative and insightful through song, or poem, or even art. he might work with a math savvy person through facts and undeniable truths. he might talk with some through another person. he might talk with some through dreams or visions and he might simply talk to some by focusing and listening. in D&C: 8 Oliver Cowdry is told how he can feel the promptings of the spirit. through the burning of the bosom, and like a fire within him. well, maybe that is the way the spirit talks to him, oliver, that does not mean that is the way the spirit is going to talk with everyone, like me.

i've been jealous of people who cry because the spirit overcomes them. i've been jealous when i hear stories of people listening to a song on the radio and got an answer to their prayers, i've been jealous when people talk of dreams they have of family members who have passed on, i've been jealous of hearing stories of people who randomly open their scriptures and instantly find the passage that answers their prayers... i've also been jealous of people who know how to speak Mandarin Chinese.

but, i'm not anymore.

after i realized that i knew the way the spirit talks to me. i know what "language" it uses to get through to me. i stopped being jealous and wishing i was like those people who have those cool stories. and i started learning my own language. i started testing the waters and seeing if what i thought i heard actually was real. i started participating in this big conversation that the holy ghost has been trying to start with me from the beginning. i started literally coming unto Him.

i love this baby and i love how much closer i feel to my Heavenly Parents because of it. i love how much more i understand all of the little parts of "the plan." i love how much clearer everything is when i have this change of perspective. i have loved everything about this whole pregnancy. and you know what else, i think i'm finally starting to realize what those mothers meant when they said "having a baby was the one moment in my life when i felt closest to god" being a mother is going to be the best. and i love the little things this baby is teaching me. already.

p.s. if you were wondering what "my" language of the spirit is. it's writing. everything gets so much clearer when i take the time to just write it down.

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