Bayli Moments

on sunday and monday this week for some reason i had my nice camera out and did my best to take some pictures of bayli in her "everyday" trying not to pose her or asking her to smile. she absolutely loves getting her picture taken with my phone, but i don't bring out my nice big camera often mostly because of the convenience of the phone. it's just always right there in my pocket ready to capture those moments. and also because i am afraid she will want "my turn?" and when i say "no" it will ruin the moment or something. but, i'm so grateful for these photos of my Bay and her genuine smiles and her true personality captured in much better quality. hopefully this was just the right amount of encouragement i needed to keep my DSLR ready and available more frequently.

on sunday we got all dressed up and i actually braided her hair! i am usually a fan of letting her loose curls fly free because who knows how long until she grows them out, and also because she likes it better that way anyway, but after watching me spend some time on my hair, she wanted something fancy done with her hair for church too, so she got her pigtails braided and a bow on the bottom to keep them together. although, the bow didn't last long. :) also, we were gifted that homemade skirt by an unknown person about a week ago, that cute little skirt was just hanging on our door with a homemade scarf to match when we came home one night. it is so nice and uplifting to be the recipient of random acts of kindness. it made our whole day, and bayli just loves that skirt, she asks to wear it to bed sometimes. if whoever gave it to us happens to be a reader of this blog, then thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts. :)

i seriously didn't pose her for this one. can you believe it?? she looks so old! and who taught her that pose??? #glamgirl

on monday, we spent the day naked working on potty training. we have been working on getting her to go to the bathroom "like a big girl" for months now, we feel like we have tried every possible way of potty training, but she has a unique medical problem with her urethra which has caused us to wait and try to fix the problem naturally, over time. i am trying my hardest to be patient but goodness i really hate diapers. it's crazy how many thousands of diapers one kid uses up in his/her lifetime. anyway, the solution that seems to be working for now is lots of naked time in the house or outside (but with the weather being so cold now, it's basically all indoor time for us) and getting praised highly whenever she successfully goes. she get's a "my little pony" each time she tells us before she needs to go. she's got quite the collection now. and she is so proud of each and every one of them. her little "potty ponies".

The Outer Doors

My little outdoorsy kid is about as opposite of me as they come. she is perfectly content with being outside all day long, getting messy, searching for bugs, and playing sports (or at least trying to... you should see all of her 23 pounds hike a full size football between her legs. it's adorable) i normally would not be interested in these kinds of things, i am more of a "id rather look at pictures of outside than actually go there" kind of girl. i would avoid and complain about doing outdoorsy things because of my easily sun-burnt skin, and the vendetta bugs have against me, but because of Bayli's enthusiasm, and sometimes persistence about playing outside (she will often squeeze her body through the doggie door in order to get to her toys in the backyard) i have recently found myself scouring our garden for bugs so that we can watch them in action, playing football, baseball, and soccer with her in our backyard, and making mud pies. and you know what, besides the grass allergies that sent me to the hospital a few days ago, i am actually really enjoying it. HUGE SURPRISE. i was actually the one that wanted to go hike up a small, steep, seemingly untouched canyon by our house. little did we know it actually had a tiny path that we initially thought was just a deer/animal path, and a name: "little rock canyon" anyone heard of it or hiked it before?? (it's probably because of that outdoorsy vacation i went on a few weeks ago that opened my eyes up to how fun it really can be.)

anyway, here's to turning over a new leaf, and not being skeptical about things that are new and different. i guess this can kinda count as my "favorite find friday" : a new-found sense of adventure

and now for some pictures to prove i've actually been outside recently, cause my whiter-than-white-haven't-you-heard-of-self-tanner skin is really trying to prove you otherwise.

 ^^^ our new little hydrangea bush that i love more than life.

 ^^^to me, this picture is the epitome of summer

 ^^pointing out all her bugs. ever since we started watching Rachel and the Treeschoolers she is obsessed with bugs and will yell at me until i come and watch them with her. Rachel, from the show, is trying to get funded on kickstarter and there are only 32 hours left! she needs $50,000 more in order to reach her goal of $200,000 go donate here

 ^^^meet isabelle isaleaf

 ^^playing with the sun

^^ we made that flower crown from weeds in our neighbors gutter, also, don't judge our terrible outfits in these photos, she is going through a pick-out-my-own-clothes phase that i am just trying to endure through. :)

Hugs vs My Laptop

this morning, we sat down on our new dining room bench seat, the cushion of which used to be black, but it attracted every speck of dirt, and hair, and fur, and showed every stain. so, just before Bayli's birthday i deep cleaned it as well as i could, and lint rollered it like it was my job. then, i covered it in a thin vinyl plastic and made our new bench officially -still- black, but also dust and child proof.

anyway, today as we were sitting on this bench, having breakfast, i sat down with my computer to catch up on some of my favorite blogs, and to start writing a post of my own, when all of a sudden, i heard the crinkle of the plastic underneath my baby girl's feet as she walked toward me and gave me a huge hug. it wasn't because she was hurt, or embarrassed, or tired, or for any reason at all. but, instead she just hugged me for a long good minute for no reason at all. i hugged her back, but, sadly, and honestly, i kept on thinking about the post i was writing, about what i should write, and which pictures to post with it. trying to figure out how popular it would be on pinterest, etc. at about this same time, she let go of the hug. she went back to eating her breakfast without saying a word, and i went back to typing.

about 30 seconds later, i heard the crinkle of the plastic under her feet again. once again, she came over for a hug, she kissed me on the cheek and squooze with all her might. i guess the added bonus of a tight squeeze and a kiss on the cheek was just enough to make me realize how rare and fleeting of a situation this was. and instantly came to realize that i was missing out on a moment, maybe not the biggest moment of her life, but a moment nonetheless. i shut my laptop, and hugged her back with all my might. well, like the world was punishing me for ignoring my daughter the first time, i squooze too hard and she started whimpering. i let go, kissed her cheek, and apologized for hugging too tightly. then she sat back down to eat.

well, you guessed it, she slowly made her way over here to give me another hug, this time from behind, probably because then i wouldn't be able to hurt her. she almost choked me while laying against my back. mid way through the hug, right about the same time as my face was losing it's color due to my lack of oxygen, she leaned over and looked me in the eye and smiled. a smile that only could mean "i love you" and as if the stars aligned for that moment, she said in her broken english "uhzzz oooh"

what i once thought was "just a moment" became a very big moment in this mommy's life. because, that "uhzz ooh" was the first time she has told me "i love you" without being prompted. usually she says i love you when i'm leaving to go to work, or saying goodnight, or after dad says "bayli, tell momma you love her" this was all her choice, and not because i was leaving, but instead because i was here. and not just here in body, but in mind as well.

this continued for the next hour of our breakfast. she kept walking back and forth on the bench inbetween bites, hugging me, walk back, giving me a kiss on the cheek, take a bite of cereal, walk behind me to turn on, or off the lights. returning to her spot on the bench but giving me a hug on her way. it was a genuinely beautiful morning, with our 4 apricot trees blooming just outside our window, and the grass turning a lush green, letting the natural light stream in through the window, and glowing on our faces as we smiled at each other and hugged the morning away.


(sorry that this post doesn't have a picture. but... the moment was too good, and taking a physical picture was just not as important as taking a mental one. and that blog post that i was writing, it has been postponed until next friday. priorities you know... i'm gonna go push my baby girl on the swing before all of a sudden i blink and she's four.)

missing him

as i sit at my kitchen table, on my new bench, that my husband lovingly made for me before he left on his work trip so that i could start to imagine the party for our daughter's 2nd birthday just a little bit better, because let me tell you. there is NO way that i could imagine a party with our closest friends and family and their kids in this tiny old house without this bench. anyway....i'm drinking hot chocolate because even though the calendar says its almost spring, my hormones and dry skin are just not buying it. so... i finished off the last of last year's roasted hazelnut hot chocolate.... and as i drink. i'm missing him.

he's over in Australia right now, it's the end of the summer over there. it's hot and humid, yesterday as i was skype-ing with him he told me that he had a sunburn and had just been bitten by a mosquito. i think he was trying to point out the negatives, you know, besides the beautiful sunrise that was just starting to say hello to the world as his plane landed, and the beautiful ocean views on that huge island so that i wouldn't be jealous but his tactics didn't work, i've never wanted a mosquito bite so bad.

tonight after he reaches the next stop in his boss's private plane, he is going to go with his boss to go see baby sea turtles hatch.

like, for real, come on. this isn't fair.

the night before he left, after forcing him to take lots of "selfie's" with me, we figured out just how many total nights we've spent away from each other since we've been married. the answer was 12. he's doubling our number with just one trip.

the last time he went on a work trip, i wrote about a blog post about it. i mostly talked about how difficult it was to take care of a child without another parent to help you out, but this time around the hardest part is that all we can do is text, and skype with the most terrible service you ever did see. 50% of the time our terrible service cut's us off, and the other 50% of the time one of us is trying to sleep. in summary, the last time he left i felt stressed and lonely. this time i feel... abandoned.

i am being soooo negative right now, i know i know. it really isn't all bad. it's so awesome that he is getting the opportunity to go and do, and see these things. and he already has admitted that it's making him want to do these kind of things more often with me, which makes me very happy. but right now i am crazy jealous, and seriously want to be with him, yet alas, it's only day 3 out of 14.

to keep myself from feeling sad, and thinking about the negative things, i've been filling my time with lots and lots of youtube makeup tutorials, (my favorite of which, lauren curtis, is coincidentally enough, an Aussie.) and have spent my fare share of mulah on new makeup products as well. my mom had surgery yesterday so i haven't been working, but starting tomorrow i have filled my days with clients at the salon hoping that it will make the days go by faster. and bayli and i have truly had sooo much fun. we have watched lots of movies together, and we went to the free pancake day at ihop yesterday, and we're not moping around. promise. she doesn't understand what's going on, so when she sees and hears her dad talking with her through the phone i swear she still thinks he's calling like he does everyday when he's on his way home to tuck her in at night.

she misses him in her own way. for example, we have tennants that live in our basement, and whenever they come in through our back door, we can hear it pretty clearly, and bay yells "dadda!?" it breaks my heart. and yesterday we were walking to a friend's house and we walked past garrison's truck that he parks a few houses down when he's away so that we don't clog up the busy street in front of our house with cars, and bayli run's ahead and knocks on the side of the truck hoping he is inside and will come out and play with her. she cried the entire way home from the airport after we dropped him off, and honestly so did i. it's amazing to see her little body starting to piece together emotions and i am truly sooo excited to see her reaction when he comes home. my expectations are high. :)

so, for now, bay and i are just trying to get through each day, knowing that each night we have to spend without him is one night closer to him coming home. and because my husband is my most loyal reader, to you i say: i love you, of course we miss you, and of course we're a bit sad, but we're doing just fine. Have soooo much fun with the turtles tonight. if there's a rule that says you can't take pictures of the turtles, break it. or your not allowed home. :)

here's one of my favorites from the night before he left "selfie session" we really are soooo bad at this kind of thing. :)

The Zoo

one of my new years resolutions is to organize my pictures. ALL of them. i have a wonderful system in place for the past 6 months, but... all of the rest are sitting in their own piles of un-organization-ness in my external hard drive. i haven't gotten to those yet, but... organizing my pictures has made me realize all of the fun adventures we've gone on as a family that haven't made it onto the blog, so, pardon me as i post non-current things on the blog while i go through my pictures. maybe i'll only post them on thursdays or something to keep with the "throwback thursday" trend.

the day we went to the zoo is one of these.

it was the saturday before halloween and i had gotten stir crazy in the house, that morning i awoke with the desire to do something different. i'm pretty sure the first words out of my mouth were "let's go to the zoo today!" after thinking about it, and coming to a decision that the zoo would probably be "not as busy for a saturday because everyone will be taking their kids to halloween parties" we decided to pack the sack lunches and go!
... that day, was "boo at the zoo" one of the all time busiest days of the year for the zoo. there are vendors and zoo sponsors lining the walkways between animals giving away pamphlets, and candy. lines EVERYWHERE to get your piece of fun size twix. everyone was in costume. garrison, bayli, and i, come walking in and stick out like a sore thumb because we aren't dressed up, and feeling totally stupid because we didn't know about "boo at the zoo." anyway, we chose to forego the candy lines, especially because we weren't dressed up. we were still able to see most of the animals we wanted, as long as we got creative at how to see around the masses of people. the only animal we didn't see was a lion, her favorite animal at the time. i don't think they even have one at that zoo.
it truly was one fun day, yes, it didn't go as planned, but, that's just life. or, as the french say, "se la vie"

and now for a huge zoo photo dump.

 ^^that elephant is seriously holding on to mom's tail, just like in Dumbo!^^

 ^^kisses!!^^

 ^^barking^^

 ^^the best word for this animal we've decided is "Majestic"^^

 ^^sooooo excited to see her favorite animal, the lion. even if it was just a statue^^

 ^^cutest little poser around!^^

 ^^"foxes kissing"^^

 ^^bayli was showing us how he was drinking^^

 ^^the reptile room was the only place we could go to escape the crowds.^^

 ^^so weird to see the process of how an elephant drinks. for some reason i always thought the trunk worked more like a straw... nope!^^

^^you guys, that gorilla is reading. READING^^